Friday, January 8, 2010

Tag'ging Tiger?


This poor dude has gotten enough, hasn't he??? I mean sure, he had over a dozen mistresses, but on some intuitive level, didn't we already know that his squeaky clean image was too good to be true? It's like when you think you've met the perfect girl. Everything goes great for a week or two, until she shows up at your house in the middle of the night holding a nine iron (no pun intended) to your face claiming that simply because her ex cheated on her, you must be too. Wait, that hasn't happened to you? Oh well, give it time.

Anyways, we all saw this coming. Though as painful as it is for the American public to swallow, we must admit that we are suckers for priceless tag lines that get tied to these smut-based scandals. President Bill Clinton hit us with "I did not have sexual relations with that woman", days later we were all thinking twice before lighting up that Macanudo on the 18th green. Look I'm a die-hard Yankees fan (yes, I was there at Game 6 in the Bronx when we won it - I don't recall much thereafter, so don't ask), but who can forget my boy Andy Pettitte "misremembering" a conversation with Roger Clemens about steroids. Infamously stated with brilliant conviction, my good man!

The bottom line is that if and when Tiger resurfaces, most likely trumping up the "Wounded Cub formerly Known as Tiger" card, he will surely make some great one liners that will forever live on in American pop culture. Speaking of which, am I the only one who is shocked by the fact that Tag has not dropped him from their label? I guess in retrospect it's not overwhelmingly shocking, as the good people of Tag are hailing from Switzerland, where antics such as Tiger's could likely be categorized as "just a slow Friday night". That said, however, they have even gone so far as to keep his face as the poster child on web and print ads. Good luck with that - the Link is a beautifully crafted timepiece, let's just hope the next version isn't a rotating-arm Mickey Mouse-style chrono honoring Miss Howard Stern December 2007. Until next time...let's swap some watches and war stories.

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